Addiction Support

What is meant by enabling?   "Enabling is a term commonly used to describe those activities and behaviors of a friend or family member of a person suffering from addiction which, even though meant to be helpful and loving, may actually be counterproductive, actively serving to delay recovery from the addiction."   

If we do for other people that which they need to do, and can do, for themselves, we are enabling their addiction to continue.   Do not get in between an addict and the consequences of their addiction.  They may only take action when their pain gets much greater than the addiction.

It is important to note, that you must make you own determination of what they can and should do for themselves. Adults should be able to pay their own rent, car payment, phone bills and hold a job to provide these funds. Often an adult child ends up living in their parent's basement as they can't afford their own place.  The parents do not want them to be homeless and fear what would happen to them.  They feel guilty if they don't help them. Where should a parent's, or a child's, responsibility end?  

Set a fine line for what you’re willing to put up with and what’s allowed for them. This includes:

• Not giving them money to fund their addiction
• Not encouraging their substance abuse by drinking alcohol or taking drugs around them 
• Not allowing their bad behavior in your company or under your roof

When they overstep their boundaries, make sure to give them proper consequences. You have to make them understand the gravity of their actions and behavior.

Don’t pick up the pieces every time. Quit making excuses for them, covering up for them, and blaming others for their problems. 

They need to understand the gravity of the situation. They can’t do that if you always bail them out of trouble. It may be hard, but it’ll be better for them in the long run.   

From  8 Signs You May Be Enabling Someone (Enabling Behaviors)